到了最后，我又回到了原点。
不想离开，却不得不转过身。
多想把你紧紧地抱住，却要装成毫不在乎。
上天就是那么的爱做弄人。
因为不想再被受伤害，所以宁愿伤害。
因为知道不可以爱，所以不爱。
因为你的离开，所以我先离开。
原谅我的自私。
我们都好理智。
忘了单纯的快乐。
忘了天真的浪漫。
可能我们一样的矛盾。
我们一样的没勇气去面对。
我会努力的把这一切都忘了。
希望你也是。
in l0ve ; 3:31 PM
Saturday, June 10, 2006
upon xiying request. i decided to update my blog.
been really lazy to blog. suddenly it become something i dun find purpose in doing. so wad if my schdule is exciting with loads of happening events going on? so wad if my life is peaceful & nice now? so wad if? i admit im haunted by e fact which he left me partly becos of wad i blogged. sometimes, i do blame myself. if only i din type out feelings i feel deep within tt might hurt him. if only i din let him noe tt i hav a blog. if only i noe during den tt he do visit my blog so i wun blog anything sensitive relating to us. if only i din even hav a blog. if only. all these assumptions are nothing but questions tt'll nv be answered ever again. dun worry if u're tinking tt i haven got over e breakup. honestly. i did. no pain, no tears, no nothing anymore. now i dun even love him. but i jus keep wondering, will we even breakup if i din hurt him wif things i've mentioned in my blog? wad has happen did happen. dere is no turning back. he is gone. for good. i accept e reality. but i cant help when it keeps haunting me tt blogging actually ended my relationship. it actually remove someone so important to me from my life. for a moment, i even hate to blog. well. it's over. i came across this saying that "When u break a girl's heart, she still feels it when bumping heads 3 years later". i'll raise both hands to agree to it. like i mention above. i no longer love him. but when i ask myself if i shd check him out in frenster. my heart still sinks. seeing him wif his new gf tgt is definitely going to make me feel heartbroken EVEN if i no longer love him. of course i'll be v sad. to see him wif another ger. BUT. tt dun mean i love him anymore. den y am i feeling heartbroken den. dun ask me. i'm a woman. all women feel so. ask them. oohs. & y am i typing such a not-v-happy entry? tt's merely becos im listening to a v sad instrumental song. haha. & im jus allowing my feelings to flow. baaaa... lols.
ok. i shall switch to those hip songs. hehe. shall tok bout happy things now. frens hav been asking me. y am i not getting attached again? ehh people. good guys dun drop from e sky. even if dere ARE good guys. all are either attached or ehh i dunnoe? but for now i'll take my time & let fate decides everything. ALSO. i realise i hav selflessly gave up too much things for him in e past. my dreams. my frens. jus everything! & now. i wanna pursue bac all these things. & i wan to achieve them more den i ever wanna achieve in e past. inch by inch. step by step. i'm closing in to my dreams. im really happy now. i find goals & purpose in my life. i wanna learn tings tt i've nv dreamt of learning last time. example. driving. althou i fail my basic driving test. but im gonna try again! i wanna experience new stuffs tt i nv dare to go for in e past. example. i'm not gonna tell u. =P lols. i'll bring u ppl good news when everything settle down. i honestly dunnoe where did all these motivations & courage come from suddenly. maybe breaking up really isnt such a bad ting afterall. i grew up from it. become more mature in perspective of love. it changes my life. TOTALLY. now my everyday is filled with joy & laughter. i hav my frens backing me up. i'm finally studying something i love & i no longer dread going sch. most importantly. i hav dreams. & i'm actually working towards it. so i hereby announce. i'm really happy. i'm finally happy.
i jus dun hav u. tt's all. but nvm. i believe i can get over tt v soon. =)
in l0ve ; 11:05 PM
Saturday, June 03, 2006
i'll be ok. with or without you.
meetups with yanming last nite rite after he book out from tekkong. at least he got liang xin. din forget this old fren. lols. still noe how to ask me out. e time i get to meet him. is already time for supper instead of dinner. after tt went to play 1/2 hr of pool. cos we went jus too late. & e place is closing. went to 24hrs macdonald to slack. & dere i am teasing his botak. & he is vomitting blood jus to teach me how to "feel". (some secrets of ours) lols. i feel like a kuku when yanming is jus thiiiiiiiis close to struggling me to death. homed after tt around 3 plus in e morning. wonder when will i get to see him again. but out wif him yesterday nite is definitely fun. updating each other how we've been & e normal teasing & suaning we do to each other. really grateful to hav such a good fren. who never fail to back me up when i encounter problems & will try his very best to help me. (thou it hasnt been of much help. lols) tt's wad frens are for rite? but well. i noe if yanming is ever gonna see this entry, he's gonna kajiao me again. but still. thanks ah. for teaching me how to "feel" yesterday. i doubt it'll ever succeed thou. haha.
i've done wad i feel is my extreme already. so pls stop testing my limits. i'm do not enjoy ur game.
in l0ve ; 4:57 PM
Thursday, May 25, 2006
went to meet up with my usual BYG gang. ooh. how i jus love them. *waves waves* i noe u guys come my blog. dun deny! lols. so i'm hereby happy to name them out.
peifen.
mingjue.
xiying.
justin.
connie.
weebeng & jie yan. occasionally when they're free.
of course not forgetting myself! =D
did i miss out anyone? i'm sorry ah. must inform me if i left ur name out. getting really old.. >.<
never fail to make me laugh whenever out with them. they really do remind me of nyjc. also makes me feel like i'm still a part of e college. thou sadly. i'm not. but they're capable of making me feel home.
really hav to thanks them loads for helping me to get over e breakup too. credits definitely go to them. thank u for staying out late wif me at junction 8 to cheer me up thou u guys still hav sch e v nx day. thank u for being dere for me when i broke down during practices for our BYG. thank u for providing tissues & shoulders for me when i collapsed rite after e final performance. thank u for telling me time & again tt he's not worth it. thank u for making me understand tt i still hav u guys althou i've lost him. thank u for making me a part of this lovely gang. thank u for making me a part of BYG. thank u for pulling me out of this depression. without u guys. i wouldnt be here. thank u loads. love u guys so much!
something horrible.
i nearly met wif a car accident on my way home.
this terrible car is speeding even when he shd be allowing the pedestrains to cross the road before turning left. but no he din wait for me to cross & nearly knock me over! when he realise i cant possibly hide. he swirl to his extreme right to make sure he dun hit me. waddehell! he left me dere wobbly & panicky! ^#)*&#%)&*)@# i so damn dun wanna die so soon! argh.
moral of e story: pls be v careful on e road for dere is still idiotic drivers like this around! & pls dun blast ur mp3 to maximum volume like i did. =P ok. sorry! no nx time!
in l0ve ; 12:00 AM
Sunday, May 21, 2006
haha. peifen tagged me to continue this quiz game. well. i shall distort e rules by passing it down to another 7 ppl. but i dun mind doing e quiz rite here. here goes..
The Quiz....
1. 喜欢一个人到什么程度可以算是爱？ 只要他快乐，一切都值得。
2. 今年的情人节你怎么过的？ 哭着过的。炸了他最爱吃的鸡翅膀。手也不小心烫伤了。可是我连一声谢谢也没得到。在回家路上完全崩溃了。
3. 你相信网络里有真实的感情？ 我相信。
4. 你相信“今生的情人来世会成为父女”这句话吗？ 不相信。
5. 如果可以重新选择，你还会选择现在的职业或者所学的专业吗？ 会。因为这才是我真正爱做的。
6. 如果时光可以倒流，你希望你现在可以回到几岁？ 中学快乐无知的那段日子。
7. 如果以生命做代价，你愿意用它换取什么? 我所爱的人。健康快乐幸福。
8. 请用一句话说明你是怎样的一个人 ？ 我正在上演着一场悲剧。
9. 喜欢牛郎织女的故事还是喜欢鹊桥仙的故事？我不再相信任何爱情故事。
in l0ve ; 11:23 PM
Saturday, May 20, 2006
thats when i love u
when you have to look away
when you don't have much to say
thats when I love you
I love you, just that way
to hear you stumble when you speak
or see you walk, with two left feet
thats when I love you
I love you, endlessly
and when you're mad 'cause you lost the game
forget i'm waiting in the rain
baby I love you
I love you anyway
'cause heres my promise made tonight
you can count on me for life
thats when I love you
when nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn
the more I love
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you
no matter what
so when u turn to hide your eyes
'cause the movie made you cry
thats when I love you
I love you a little more each time
and when you can't quite match your clothes
or when you laugh at your own jokes
thats when I love you
I love you, more than you know
and when you forget that we had a date
or that look you give when you show up late
baby I love you
I love you anyway
'cause heres my promise made tonight
you can count on me for life
thats when I love you
when nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn
the more I love
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you no matter what
ooohhh oooooohh
thats when I love you
when nothing baby
nothing you do can change my mind
the more I learn
the more I love
the more my heart can't get enough
thats when I love you
when I love you
no matter what
ooooooohhhh ooooooooooh
no matter what
in l0ve ; 4:35 PM
Thursday, May 18, 2006
going to update an entry so as to not make my new blog look so empty. so this is gonna be so random. so gaga. so kuku. so papaya.
point 1:
new skin! no. i'm not HURT. really. i'm completely over "that" thing. & im no longer upset about it anymore. & using this skin is purely becos i created it. i cant seem to find other nice words to put up. so if u find a cooler term maybe like "woah", "argh", "pretty" etc etc. anything. wadever. let me noe. i'll definitely get this down. i repeat. i'm NOT hurt. =)
point 2:
i'm getting so crazy! retail therapy alone. can u imagine? i cant either. i actually went to heartland mall alone today to do some self shopping! & i kinda entertain myself quite well. nope. not feeling bored nor uneasy. totally having fun. shall tell u guys wad i've bought!
- retro hairband: $2.95
- dangling necklace: $9.00
- sandals: $9.90
- jeans: $27.90
cheap jeans rite? having some i-forgotten-how-much discount. yea! kinda satisfied with wad i've bought. still hav so many tings to buy to prepare for new school term. wad can i say? shopping jus make a woman happy!
point 3:
i hate makeups. but now i'm down to no choice but only to put some light makeups before i can leave house. my face turn so horrid tt i scare myself while looking into e mirror. lols. no joke. late night sleep really is a girl worse enemy. argh! pimples. go away! i definitely need my confidence back! boos.
point 4:
towning wif pokie dear tml again! so happy. shopping with her never fail to cheer me up. always hav lots of shou huo & our inside gossips. weird. we jus seem to find ALOT of tings we love when going out tgt. yet we jus dun seem to catch attention to anything when out with our own frens. jinx isnt it? but no worries. i still love her. =)
point 5:
dun remember now. will update my point 5 soon. hurs.
in l0ve ; 8:38 PM
